I stayed there on the sidewalk crying my eyes and heart out, not even hearing the door open and close.
“Mary! Mary, where were—Mary? What’s wrong?”
Soft, warm arms wrapped around me, and I subconsciously leaned into the caring embrace that surrounded me. I looked up and saw a blurry face with a pair of round, dark brown eyes. Shedding the tears in my eyes, I looked into Margie’s worried face. The tears stung my red, raw skin.
“What happened?” she asked.
“He’s gone…he’s gone…”
“Who’s gone?”
The door burst open again, loud enough for it to give me a start, and another harsh sound filled the summertime air.
“Margaret, what are you doing out—Mary!” Mrs. Fickley gasped. “Helen! Edward! Mary is back!”
Hurried footsteps thundered out of the Fickley home and I was practically yanked out of Margie’s arms and pulled into my mother’s, but I felt no comfort at all. Mother hugged me and smoothed my hair, and I continued to cry.
“Oh, my sweet little girl, I was worried sick about you!” Mother said, nearly in tears herself. She pushed the tears off my face with her thumbs, and continued smoothing me over so I didn’t look like such a mess. “There, there, dear, what’s wrong? Did those people hurt you?”
“Yes…” I sobbed. Oh, I was so very hurt.
“Where were you?” Daddy asked. His booming voice sounded very displeased.
“Edward—” Mother started, but Daddy cut her off.
“Where were you?” he asked me again.
“I—I was—” I started to say.
“Do you have any idea what you put your mother and I through? For God’s sake, what were you thinking?! We didn’t raise you to act like this! Louise told me you ran off with that trampy woman, Babs Andrews! It’s a wonder you’re not in jail now, running around with the likes of her!”
Louise…
That’s why they all came after me…
She…she told…
I felt so betrayed.
“And you were gone all night! People will talk, Mary! Where exactly were you?”
I wanted to be bold and say “Sleeping in Jake Harper’s bed,” but my lips just couldn’t form words, all they could do was quiver. Without Jake, I felt like I had no reason to be brave…no reason to try to fool myself into thinking I belonged with him. I didn’t care how upset my mother was and how angry my father was. Mother pulled me into a tight hug, but I stared down the empty road, knowing my future would be just as empty if Jake wasn’t in it.
“I’m going to the police station,” Daddy said. I flinched at the last two words. They hit me like a bee’s sting. “Albert is over there now, wondering where you’re at. When I get back I want an explanation.” He walked over to his car and pulled out of the driveway. I almost stopped him, almost said I wanted to go with him for no other reason but the chance to look into Jake’s eyes one last time, even if all I saw was anger…or indifference.
“Come, sweetheart, let’s get you cleaned up,” Mother said. She took me into the house and we went to the second-floor bathroom, and it felt like a death march. Wondering how I was still not yet out of tears, I let them spill down my face as my lip quivered. I sat down on the edge of the bathtub and looked up at my Mother as she wet a washcloth to clean my face like I was a toddler again.
He left me.
Alone…I’m all alone…
“And don’t worry about Albert, dear. He knows you’re a good girl and you didn’t mean to behave so childishly. You’re a good girl, aren’t you?”
I felt a flash of heat flare up in my stomach. It boiled furiously as my mother continued to coo at me.
“Mother—“
“Shh, darling, I know you’re sorry. You’re still a good girl. Yes, such a—“
"Mother, just stop!” I snapped suddenly, slapping her hand away from my face and knocking the washcloth out of it.
“Dear, what has gotten into you?” she asked. I didn’t answer her; I just walked out of the bathroom and shut myself in my room. I did feel sorry, but not sorry for what my parents thought I should be sorry for. I felt sorry for what I did to Jake…and sorry for myself. I sat down on the bed and filled my head with all my bittersweet memories. I traced every detail of him in my mind…
His wide, friendly smile…
His strong embrace…
His tender lips…His voice…
His kind heart…A knock on the door stole his image from my mind. “Go away!” I said harshly, not caring who was behind that door. It could have been the second coming of Christ, and I still would have snarled. Closing my eyes, I tried to bring Jake back, but the door creaked open. I was sure it was my father, returning for the explanation he demanded of me earlier. Whipping my head around, I faced the door.
“I said—“
“Oh. Margie.” My anger cooled.
“Sorry if I’m bothering you. I was just wondering if you wanted something to eat.”
Margie carried a tray of food over, and I smiled at her thoughtfulness. The contents of the tray included pancakes topped with berries, and though it looked and smelled delicious, I turned my head away. Not even my favorite meal could comfort me. She placed the tray of food on one of the nightstands.
“I’m not hungry,” I murmured.
“Too much on your mind again?”
“Mhm.”
“What happened?” Margie asked, sitting down on the bed alongside me.
“Jake…brought me back here. He…he didn’t even tell me to stay with him. Didn’t even try to convince me not to marry Albert. He doesn’t love me anymore.”
“He said that?”
“He didn’t have to. Why else would he bring me back here? Why else wouldn’t he tell me to not marry someone else? He…he doesn’t care if—if I…”
“Are you in love with him?”
Nothing inside of me had any desire left to lie. If things had stayed the same as always, I could have laughed and scoffed at such a silly notion, but the truth was a powerful thing. I couldn’t answer, but I didn’t need to.
Anyone who saw me—really saw me—could see it.
I was truly…
madly in love…
with Jake Harper.
“Sometimes, if you love something…you have to let it go. Even if it hurts.”
I looked up, startled by what she had said. Everything I had learned from him, everything I felt, it was wound up too tight and too deep. Tearing out the tangled knots of my feelings would take longer than a lifetime. I looked at my jeweled hand, and I knew the years would only turn the diamond into lead…and my heart would forever carry that burden. Forever. I would spend forever with someone I didn’t love. I would spend forever loving someone who didn’t love me.
But letting Jake go…I couldn’t even imagine such a thing. It simply wasn’t an option.
“Margie…how can you say that? You know how I feel! Are you saying I should be unhappy for the rest of my life?”
“That’s not what I’m saying at all. You have to understand why Jake did—“
Suddenly, the door flew open, and Mrs. Fickley walked into the room. I stared at Margie, desperately wishing she would finish her sentence.
Why Jake did what? What?!
“Mary, your father is downstairs, and we’re all waiting for you to explain yourself,” Mrs. Fickley said. She looked at Margie, and scowled. “Get up, Margaret, I don’t pay you to sit around like a…”
Mrs. Fickley stopped her rant right in its tracks and stared at Margie. I was confused by her odd action.
“What…what is—“ Mrs. Fickley leered over Margie and snatched up her arm like a hawk grabbing a mouse. Margie looked scared and confused. I then realized with horror what Mrs. Fickley was looking at.
The ring!
My mouth went dry and a wave of bitter cold panic washed across my body.
“You little thief!” Mrs. Fickley yanked Margie to her feet, drawing a startled yell from my friend. “How dare you steal from us!” Mrs. Fickley roared. Margie’s face turned from fear to anger. She yanked her arm away.
“I’m no thief, you old bat! My husband gave it to me!” Margie said with more force in her voice than I ever heard before.
“Lying tramp! Give me that ring back this instant!”
“No!”
Mrs. Fickley had found the ring…my ring… Mrs. Fickley reaching over Margie’s outstretched arms trying to tear the ring off her hand, or maybe just take Margie’s hand entirely. Margie tried to push her away, and Mrs. Fickley raised her hand to hit her. I squeezed my way in between them and pushed Mrs. Fickley away.
"Mary! What in God’s name are you doing?!” Mrs. Fickley asked.
“Wait! She didn’t steal the ring! I gave it to her husband to give to her! Please don’t be angry with her!”
“And why on earth would you do that?”
“Because he wanted to get her a nice wedding ring. I…I just wanted to help! She deserves way more than what she gets, even though you don't think so! You treat her like she's--she's garbage! But she's not! All those awful things you say about her aren't true at all! You're just--an ignorant old witch!"
“How dare you! Mary, I don't know what has gotten into you but I'm sure it's all this little--! They’re going to suck us dry if you just let them do what they want, you stupid girl! They have no work ethic!” She then turned to Margie. “Get out of my house! You’re finished here!” My heart sank. Margie’s face turned to stone and she stormed out of the house. I tried to run after her, and made it down the stairs before someone grabbed my arm tightly and pulled me back.
“Margie!” I called. I twisted and pulled, but my captor’s grip was too tight. I turned around and saw my father’s face, my father’s ice cold face, staring at me.
No! Not Margie too! No!
“Edward, I am appalled by your daughter’s behavior!” Mrs. Fickley shouted as she walked down the stairs. “I just found out she gave that beautiful promise ring my son gave her to that nappy-haired monkey!”
“Don’t call her that!” I snapped.
“And who is this Jake? Have you been running around with another man?!”
I strained towards the door. “Margie!” I called again. “Daddy, let go!”
“Enough, Mary! I have had it with your foolishness!” Daddy shouted. “Another man? Good God, what has happened to you? You’re acting like an impulsive child! Don’t you understand what you’re doing? Answer me!”
“This is wrong! Margie didn’t do anything to deserve this!”
“I can’t believe it! My own daughter, my little princess, my pride and joy has turned into a—a sneak! A liar! A trollop!”
“Edward!” Mother exclaimed. She folded her hands around my shoulders and looked into my eyes. “You’re just going through a phase, darling. Every woman gets cold feet before her wedding—”
“Helen, stop babying her! The girl needs to come to her senses! He’s nothing, Mary! Just white trash!” Father exclaimed.
“Jake Harper is not trash!” I shouted.
“Dirty, unkempt, crawling around in seedy bars, without any sense of decorum—”
“I love him!”
The room fell deathly silent.
“Mary…” my mother whispered.
And…across the room, I saw another figure move…
Silently.
I lingered over his cloudy gaze until, suddenly, my father grabbed my arm again and his hand met my cheek in a sharp sting that made me cry out, mostly from shock.
“Get upstairs now, and I don’t want to see you again until you get your head out of the clouds.”
