


I couldn’t believe what happened that night, the night I learned the pleasure of a woman. Everything I was trying to hold back went out of my control when said my name. My name. One month of silence and she said my name. You could have called me the happiest man in the world at that moment. I lightly kissed her forehead, the tip of her nose, her eyelashes...then our lips met.

“Oh, John…”
"I love you, Becky.”

As I did my chores I kept looking up at the house. My bedroom window. I imagined her sleeping, remembered how beautiful she looked, how soft her skin was, how wonderful it was to hear her whisper my name. It was hard to pay attention to the hose as I was filling the animals’ water. It overflowed and slopped mud all over my boots. I groaned and kicked the mud off my boots, and I could hear someone walking up behind me.

“John, I need to talk to you about something,” Dad said. His voice sounded very serious. I turned to face him, trying not to look as nervous as I felt.

“You know, everything that’s happened in the past month with Becky has really got me thinking.”
“What are you getting at?” I asked.
Dad looked me square in the eye.
“John!”

“What’s going on?” I asked.
“John…you won’t believe what Becky just did,” Simon said.
“Do it again!” he said excitedly.

“It’s okay, John,” Becky said, giggling.
“Ha! It’s great! I gotta tell Dad!” Simon turned himself around and headed back toward the house. Becky took my hand. I looked down at her and smiled, but I saw a walking stick sitting on her dress.
“Oh, um, there’s a…”
“Mm! Get it off!” she said.
“John, get it off!”

I gently picked up the walking stick and set it on the ground. Becky rubbed her face and gave me a playful glare. I started backing away from her, and she started running after me. We ran across the yard, past the chicken coop, scattering all the chickens, and she jumped on my back. Unfortunately, we were at the pond when this happened. I lost my balance, and we both went in the water. The ducks quacked angrily at us and burst into flight. Becky climbed back on me, soaked and giggling.

“Well, now look what you did!” I said, laughing.
"We should go back inside," I said. She took my hand, and we walked back to the house together. I put my other hand over my pocket, where the engagement ring was.
Becky
You have to tell him the truth.
I stripped off my wet clothes and stared at myself in the mirror stared at my scars at my past. I was happy here I ran away from Clark I ran away from my old life but I couldn’t run forever.
If he found me I was dead I knew that for sure and he wouldn’t second guess ending the life of anyone who got in between me and him like Cade like Simon like John. Clark would break me if I left with him and he would break me if I didn’t but if I left if I left…
Nobody else would get hurt.
Cade
Simon
John
Forgive me.
My heart ached as I filled the suitcase it felt like I was already dying. I had to disappear again and all I wanted at that moment was to fade away to turn into the wind into the air into the still night a small echo that felt nothing that was nothing except a faint sound that vanished.
But I did.
“John…” I whispered.

No don’t do this please don’t do this
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a beautiful engagement ring.

The words wouldn’t come.
I looked away. I looked out the window. Something dark loomed behind the glass. I froze and stared at the ghastly figure it stared at me like a tiger at its prey like the angel of death like the rider of the pale horse. I wanted to scream I wanted to run I wanted to scream.
“He’s here.”
I blinked.
“Becky? Becky, are you okay?”
“I…I don’t know.”
John put the ring back in his pocket.”Was it too soon? I’m sorry, I didn’t want to make you feel…um…why don’t you try getting some sleep? You’ll feel better in the—”
“What?” John jumped up and turned around. “Who the hell are you?”
“John, get out of here!” I screamed. John’s eyes instantly went to his rifle that always sat next to the back door, and he made a dash for it.
“Clark, don’t!”
“NO! Oh, God! John, no!” I screamed. I fell to my knees gasping in terror.

His dark, heavy boots pounded on the floor. I stared at John stared at the red spatter all over his shirt. I trembled as the boots came closer and closer. A cold stone hand wrapped around my arm that hand seemed strong enough to grate the flesh right off my bone. I stood shakily to my feet.
.
“Clark…”
“Oh, did you miss me? No…no, of course not. You’re too busy hiking your skirt up for him, aren’t you? Hm? What’s his name? John? Well, don’t worry, you’ll be back with him soon enough.”
I was going to die. I knew it for sure this time. Clark dragged me out of John’s house pushed me into his car drove like a madman through the back roads of Riverview County he was angry many times before but not like this not nearly like this. The only thing I could see were black trees raking the sky like thousands of claws. He was driving me right to the devil’s gates. He was going to take his gun and blow my head off and I would lie on the ground bleeding, bleeding, bleeding, like John my angel my fallen angel. The white wings were stained red with blood oh John he didn’t deserve to die like that. Clark shot him cold dead and it was all my fault. He died because of me. I was bad I disobeyed I was an evil night walking jezebel and I was going to burn, burn, burn for eternity.

“I tried to forgive you, Rebecca. I knew you were out there somewhere, and all I had to do was find you. I tried to forgive you, you ungrateful tramp! I gave you everything you needed and this is how you repay me? Screwing some other man? As if he’d ever want a sulky little bitch like you!” He pushed me to the ground he climbed on top of me he closed his hands around my thighs so I couldn't move he was holding me down like a clamp like a wild animal I couldn't move I couldn't get away.
“You’ll learn soon enough, Rebecca. You want to be a tramp, you’ll take it like a tramp!” I opened my mouth I still couldn’t scream. I know he wanted me to eat dirt I was filthy. I wanted to scream. I wanted to scream. I wanted to scream. I wanted to scream. He got up when I was crushed and broken, pulling me to my knees.

I heard a voice in the distance. It came from nowhere. It came from everywhere.
"Police! Freeze! Drop your weapon!” the voice that came from nowhere and everywhere said. Clark turned, and I saw Jake Harper, John’s friend, holding his gun at Clark. Clark tightened his grip on my arm and pulled me to my feet and put the barrel of his gun to my head.

“Back off! I’ll shoot her!” Clark shouted.
“Put your gun down and let her go.”

“Okay, okay, look, I’m putting my gun down. See, I’m unarmed. Now, just let Becky come with me and you can go,” Jake put his gun on the grass. Clark stiffened as Jake slowly came closer to us. He started pushing me toward Jake and Jake reached for me. Clark’s arm jerked and he pointed the gun at Jake I yanked my arm away Jake struggled to wrench the gun away he twisted Clark’s arm until his hand fell limp the gun left his grip.
I collapsed on the gun I pointed it at Clark my hands trembled. Jake stared at me frozen in shock and Clark slowly approached me I backed away as he neared. My finger found the trigger squeeze it don’t squeeze it shoot him don’t shoot him shoot him.
Shoot him.
BANG!
Clark screamed and clutched at his knee I felt like I was watching myself hold the gun pull the trigger I was watching myself about to kill Clark all I could feel was rage blinding rage.
“Becky! Stop!” Jake yelled.

Enough enough ENOUGH you will not make me your victim this time your life is mine this time YOU will burn YOU will bleed YOU will cry YOU will break YOU will YOU not ME.

“Becky, listen, I know you don’t really want to do this. You’re a good person. Put the gun down and I’ll take him in,” Jake finished calmly. I pointed my hand my quivering hand my quivering gun at Clark I wanted to I didn’t want to I wanted to I didn’t want to. I was a good person was I wasn’t I? I dropped my hand. Dropped the gun.

“Agh!” Clark roared. He jumped up at me and tried to grab me again, but Jake was quicker he tackled him to the ground. Jake pulled his arms behind his back and put the handcuffs on him. Clark struggled and glared at me that fiery enraged hateful insane glare but it was not going to kill me he was not going to kill me.
But he had already killed someone else he killed John I broke down in tears. I screamed I wailed I dropped to my knees again I pounded my fists into the ground I pulled up the grass and dirt I let everything out everything I had been holding back all this time so much pain. John was gone shot dead because of me. I loved him and I killed him. Jake walked Clark over to another police car that was pulling up behind his and he ran back over to me. Jake yelled my name he shook my shoulders but I screamed and screamed. John my love my true love he would never hold me again he would never kiss me again he would never hear me say his name again.
“No, he didn’t. John’s alive. He took a though-and-through in the shoulder. He’s in the hospital right now,” Jake said. “Come on, I’ll take you there.”
Jake had to help me stand up because I couldn’t find the strength myself. I wanted to run I wanted to fly to John but Jake almost had to carry me to the car. The other police officers put Clark in the backseat of their car while I rode with Jake through the woods the siren blared but all I could hear all that existed were Jake’s words.

“The whole squad was talking about you. They said you faked your own death and your husband was worried about you. Worried, right. Since John already told me about your scars, I just put two and two together. I’ve been keeping an eye on you both since then.” Jake explained to me on the way to the hospital.
Jake and I ran into the hospital’s emergency room. He asked the receptionist where John was, and the woman behind the desk told us he was in the recovery room I didn’t want to wait for the elevator I ran up the stairs I ran I had to go to John I had to see him. The rooms sped by it felt like they were running past me and I was standing still I couldn’t go fast enough.
I stopped. I put my hand on the door it was open slightly I could hear them talking Simon and Cade Babs was in tears I peeked around the door. Jake came up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders.
“…you’re the luckiest idiot that ever walked the earth,” Simon said.
“This is all my fault! I should have told you everything to begin with…I didn’t think he’d find her, oh, I’m so stupid!” Babs cried.

“Don’t sell yourself short. You did great. Protect and serve!”
“Is she okay?” John asked.
“Why don’t you ask her?” Jake suggested.
I walked into the room slowly. Simon and Cade and Babs and Jake watched me come in but my eyes were on John. He was okay he was alive it was a miracle. My heart was so full but it was no longer filled with fear, no longer filled with sorrow, it was filled with love with happiness. Real happiness.

“Hey, Simon, Cade, you guys want some coffee?” Jake asked.
“And donuts?” Simon asked.
“Sure,” Jake chuckled. They walked out the door, leaving me and John alone together. I walked over to him and sat down. I looked at his bandages, his arm in a sling and felt suddenly horrible so guilty that he was here in the hospital. He almost died because of me. I put my head on his hand and broke down crying sobbing trying to say I was sorry. I was so sorry for everything.
“I’m sorry.”
But I didn’t say that.
“I’m so sorry, Becky. I didn’t know what he was gonna do…if he was gonna try to shoot you so I just stayed down when he shot me. I wanted to stop him—”
“Wh-why are you apologizing?” I exploded. “This is my fault!” I couldn’t believe it, he was lying in a hospital bed after cheating death after Clark my husband shot him and he was apologizing to me. Clark followed me he was going to kill me, he almost killed John. It was my fault.
“No, it’s not. You know, all I could think about when your husband took you away was that he was going to kill you. I was afraid that I’d never see you again. I wanted to take a bullet right in my chest if it meant you could get away. I think…it wasn’t just a miracle that I survived this, and that you survived this. I think…the biggest miracle is the day we met."
I lifted my head up and rubbed the salty tears from my red face. I looked at John into his eyes, his soft warm eyes. I wanted to dive into them like pools of water and feel all of him surrounding me like when he smiled. When he kissed me. When we made love.

“I…I think so too,” I said. My hands trembled again. I looked over to the chair where his clothes were sitting. I shakily stood up and walked over to them. I reached inside the pocket of his overalls, feeling for the delicate and beautiful ring he tried to give me last night. I pulled it out and stared at it for a moment.
Do I deserve this
Do I deserve to be happy after everything I did?
I lied
I put his life in danger
Do I...
Enough.
I turned to John and walked back to him. I wasn’t going to be afraid anymore. I wasn’t going to live like this anymore. He looked at me, then at my hand. I slowly opened it, and I placed the ring back in his hand. He looked torn. Wounded. It broke my heart to see his face like that. He looked away from me.
“Becky…I…understand if…you don’t want to marry me. I know you’ve been through a lot, and it’s going to take time for you to heal. But…if you ever change your mind, just remember that you’re the only one for me." I put my hand on his face, turning his head back to me. I leaned forward and kissed him.
“Ask me again,” I whispered in his ear.

The End
Excellent Story. Loved it. Well thought through.
ReplyDeleteahh, amazing, gave me chills.
ReplyDelete